Month: December 2017

2017 Year in Review

Despite the fact that the current events in the world have taken a dark turn, 2017 has been one of the most critical years of my entire life. This year has been an emotional one bursting with growth, new experiences, and new adventures. There were challenges where I made the decision to power through and come out the other side as a brand new person. Many things happened this year, so here are some of most important from this year:

Womxn’s March

What a weird time this is now. The only good thing that came out of the devastating results of the 2016 election was seeing practically the whole city band together for the Seattle’s Womxn’s March, as a demonstration of resisting our current administration. It has made me more focused on current events, because now more than ever, it is so important to be in the know.

The Birth of Coming Full Spiral

My blog came to life in March of this year! I have been a visual artist my entire life and decided to try my hand in writing and social media. This meant learning WordPress, the platform on which the blog is run on. Learning the ins and outs of this complex platform definitely led to some all-nighters. Like any new thing, experience grows the more you practice something. I have even started a new Instagram and Facebook page for this project as a way to gain experience with social media. I will always be an artist. It turns out that I also have a knack in writing and documenting.

Selling My Car

A necessary thing to do before traveling was to sell my beloved Nissan Sentra I had since I was 16. It was the first and only car I have ever owned. It made many things possible in my life. That car got me across the country, which was a 3,000 mile drive, to start a new life in Seattle. It safely got me to Burning Man and back four times. I have given many rides and have made many friends in that car. And now it’s time to move on. I can always get another one. The last time I heard about it, the new owner has been enjoying the ride.

Being 30 Years Old

I start my age with a 3 now. Where most people dread becoming older, I gladly embrace it. The clarity that comes with age is worth the aging of physical appearance. I tore through my manic-depressive twenties like a whirlwind, so my 30th year was welcomed with open arms. To celebrate, I spent my birthday week in Iceland, where I frolicked around Reykjavik. So far, being 30 has treated me well. There’s a sense of confidence and ease that can be absent when you’re younger. I am looking forward to what life is like at age 40.

Circumnavigating the World

What was once an insane idea beyond my wildest dreams 2 1/2 years ago manifested into reality on April 19, 2017. The purpose of the trip was to confront my PTSD, Avoidant Personality Disorder, and social anxiety by circumnavigating the world solo. Upending the stagnation of my existence in a life overhaul was no easy feat, and it took a lot of planning, coordination, and bravery in the face of many anxiety storms. Starting in South Africa, I kept working my way east to Southeast Asia, before making the final stop in New Zealand. Upon completion, I emerged as a brand new person on the other side. The journey had many firsts, many realizations, many new friendships, many accidents, broken ribs, and an earth-shattering heartbreak–all of which spurred changes and growth in me. It was the journey of a lifetime which I look back very fondly, including the bad parts. Those are just as important, because they help build character.

Cheering on Alexis, Because Fuck Cancer

Halfway through my trip around the world, I received devastating news that my best friend, Alexis, has Stage 2 breast cancer. But her tenacious optimism and fighting spirit have gotten her through the completion of chemotherapy. Witnessing her unwavering positive attitude was inspiring, and it served as a reminder that we all have a choice on our attitude to what life throws at us. The good news is that her prognosis looks good, even though there will be lots of monitoring and tests in her future. We are all so, so very happy for her recovery.

Slowly Dipping Back into Visual Art

My entire life, I have been a visual artist before starting this new blog. So, my art making has been put on hold all year, until fall rolled around. And so, I participated in and completed Inktober, which was doing one ink drawing a day for all 31 days of October. I also painted a cupcake and submitted it to Ghost Gallery for their annual miniature art show. It was the only painting I completed all year. I learned a couple weeks ago that it sold!

Running a Half Marathon

I have been running for most of my life, and lately my long runs have been at near half marathon distance. So, I decided to sign up for the half version of the Seattle Marathon. The winter blues had really gripped me, and although doing races isn’t the most cost effective method for fighting them, it was something I wanted to do. Was it getting the finisher’s medal in the end? That’s part of it. It was also the camaraderie that I have missed, being part of something that everyone else is going through and cheering each other on.

Witnessing Visionary Artist, Alex Grey, Paint Live

Since about age 16, the visionary artist, Alex Grey, has been one of my inspirations to me. While I couldn’t quite understand it at first, it eventually led me to embrace my own voice and style as a psychedelic surrealist artist. Alexis and I saw Alex Grey and his wife, Allyson, give an artist talk about their creative processes and the spiritual transcendence capture in their work. A smooth transition gave way to a magical dance party filled with live art, DJs, and performances. While the two artists painted on the stage, Alex turned around and we locked eyes. I smiled and it was as though he could see right through me as he returned one of the warmest smiles expressing full acknowledgement. To quote The Great Gatsby of what that was like:

He smiled understandingly–much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced–or seemed to face–the whole eternal world for an instant, and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. It understood you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself, and assured you that it had precisely the impression of you that, at your best, you hoped to convey.

I don’t usually make New Year’s Resolutions anymore, even though I’m pretty good on keeping most of them. This year was focused on turning a new leaf, and the lesson I have taken from it will continue to be applied into the future. It has been a strange and wonderful ride, filled with elation and heartbreak. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Here is a sound track from 2017 that can be played on Spotify. I curate one of these every year.

2018 will be built on this new person I have become. I can feel it.

Winter Self-Care Guide

Now that winter is officially here, so is an old friend of mine, otherwise known as Seasonal Depression. My usual depression lingers throughout the year. While I have ways to cope with it, it hits extra hard in the dark winter months like it does to many people. So, I have decided to compile a winter self-care guide of things that can help get through these grey days.

Hosting or attending holiday parties

My family is scattered throughout the country and I’m usually cat sitting for someone, so it can get lonely sometimes. Although I consider myself to be an ardent introvert, making time for cozy indoor nights with my favorite people is one of the few things that keeps my spirit alive during the dark months. Last weekend, the roommates and I hosted a holiday gathering at our Little Yellow House, inspired by the concept of hygge. Hygge is a Danish word describing a feeling or a setting as cozy, charming, or special. Cooking warm and hearty meals for people is one of my favorite things to do, and seeing so many friends under one roof was really what everyone needed.

A sun lamp

Seattle has a reputation for being a rainy city, but it’s actually pretty dry from late spring to October. The rains start in November and extend through March or April. Now that the Winter Solstice and the longest night have passed a couple days ago, the days are now gradually increasing. However, because Seattle is a little further up in latitude, the changes in night and day are more drastic. The sun starts going down around 2:00 in the afternoon, and by 4:00, it’s dark.

Fortunately, there is a remedy for that! In the fall of 2013, I finally caved in and bought a sun lamp. Use it in the morning for a boost. Avoid using it in the evening, because the influx of serotonin might keep you up. It’s more effective yet milder than coffee. That being said, the effectiveness of consistent use of this sun lamp is similar to building a tolerance to caffeine. The difference is that you don’t get those awful headaches if you suddenly stop using it, like quitting caffeine can do. It still gives a jump start to your day. It might put you in a silly mood or give you weird dreams the first couple of nights as your brain gets used to it.

Avoiding sugar

I know. It’s the holidays, and everyone is making and giving sweets to give to their loved ones. (Vegan cupcake, anyone?) While it’s totally reasonable to have one or two vegan treats, it’s better to opt for those with no sugar added, such as this hot cocoa recipe I discovered during my time in New Zealand. Adding cinnamon can bring out the natural sweetness of that drink. I love, love, love sugary vegan treats and will eat them on occasion, but they still disrupt my brain chemistry. They make my head clouded up with existential dread, so I have to really limit how much I consume.

Avoiding alcohol

What I initially viewed as a life sentence is now a lifetime commitment when it comes to not imbibing on what were once my favorite alcoholic beverages. Like sugar, alcohol can also be hard to avoid, especially when everyone else is having it. It can feel like you’re the odd one out when you’re not drinking. But I will say that not having any alcohol is best for my mental health. We all know that it’s a depressant. If you are prone to depression, consuming might feel like an antidote at first, but eventually it catches up to you. Giving up alcohol was probably one of the best things I have ever done for my mental health. Now I’m addicted to La Croix sparkling water.

Exercising more

There is something about running in the winter that moves me. (Pun intended.) It’s the crisp air we inhale, the pleasant cool feeling through our lungs. Not everyone likes to exercise in the cold, but your body warms up as you move more. For me, my running mileage increases in the winter in order to compensate for the lack of sun. A run can go 8, 9, 10 miles at a time these days. The endorphin high is the sweet prize at the end. Going this long is just what I do, but even 30 minutes of exercise gives a boost. You will never regret a workout.

Taking a bath

I don’t always take baths. But when I do, I drop in a bath bomb from Lush. It’s like a glittery fragrant alka-seltzer in your bath so that you can relax and unwind. It may not be the most cost-effective method to fight seasonal depression, but every once in a while, you gotta treat yo’self. You come out feeling so fresh and new!

Meditating

I used to be pretty skeptical about meditation, thinking it was a “woo-woo” technique reserved for new-age hippies. It wasn’t until my therapist suggested it almost three years ago that I decided to try it out and see what the hot fuss was. While it took a bit to get the hang of, I have to say that it actually does help! What was once something I laughed at is now something I can’t live without. It has helped me become more mindful of my state of being, even going so far as alleviating symptoms of PTSD.

I use the Headspace app on my phone for guided meditations. There are different packages you can choose from. (I am currently using the Depression package.) There’s a 10 day free trial you can use if you’re interested. Once those 10 days are up, you have the option of purchasing a subscription. Andy (the voice of Headspace) won’t try to upsell you by making you give your credit card information before you start your trial, so you really have nothing to lose. You must complete the Foundation package before you unlock the others. It’s worth a shot.

Writing down what you are grateful for

This is so critical for winter self-care. The dark and cold days can give a sense of a bleak mindset, and there is a way to counteract that. Instead of focusing on what is missing in your life, try to write down on what you do have. Shifting your focus towards gratitude really can go a long way. It can help open you up more. In turn, you become more receptive of what is going well in your life. Even if it’s just a list, it is something.

Creative exercises

Physical exercise can make you more in tune with your body, but creative exercises can make you  more at one with your playful spirit. Whether it be drawing, painting, writing poetry, or even free-writing, I think it’s important to take some time to let your mind let loose with ideas. When we are creative we feel as if the world and all that is in it is vibrantly alive. When doing creative exercises, try not to focus too hard on what you’re doing. Ideas are like a willful bird. If you try forcing them, they fly away. But when you are present, they flow through you more easily. Some of my best artwork has been done this way.

If you try any of these winter self-care strategies, do leave a comment on what worked for you. Do you have any of your own that you enjoy? I would love to hear about it! Happy Winter!