I mentioned in the last entry about my new job. It’s my first job where I’m actually working on a global team. My lead editor lives in California, my other editor lives in London, the project manager is based in Argentina, and the tech support is in the Czech Republic. As supportive as these people are, in a way it makes me feel a little sad how I’ll never actually meet any of them. It’s common, but I’ll never get to know any of them.

The closest exception was having a Skype conversation with the London-based editor about my performance. It was nice seeing a face and a voice to a name. I was concerned about meeting my quotas for the week, since I’m still working on getting up to speed. There wasn’t a lot of feedback to give on my work apparently, and that I have a solid grasp on my assignments. And a new skill I must learn is to skim information quickly before writing up an entry. I’m sure it will get easier the more I do it.

It’s a matter of getting the style guide editorial rules down and then building upon that foundation. Getting the rules down makes it so much easier, because that means less time is spent reviewing them. Not only that, but there is a lot of reference material to consult before I write something up.

Last week, I spent well over 70 hours working. It’s actually not that bad, since it goes by fast. Plus, since I’m working at home, I get to take short intermittent naps (about 15-20 minutes) when I need to. The downside is that, other than for running or doing errands, it gets easy to stay in the house for days on end. I could go to a coffee shop or library to work, but the commotion of it can be distracting. At home, it’s peaceful.

So far, the new job is going well. The long hours don’t leave time for much else, but I’m okay with it for now. It’s a start towards something better. I can feel it in my bones.

My Previous Life

Throughout my life, there was pressure on finding a good career. In Virginia, people often found their passions in real estate, business, or working for the federal government. But none of those really fit me.

As a teenager during the advent of the Internet, I had always been making websites and producing amateur content. I was always artistically inclined and was frequently writing in a journal. Could this turn into a career? I enjoyed producing content and writing, but the pressures from society made me feel self-conscious for projecting my voice and art.

So, I left it behind to pursue a degree in Art Education. It felt like being a teacher was the only legitimate career I could have while staying in the arts. However, I was under the false impression that I could save the world, one art lesson at a time.

A few months after graduation, I substituted mostly elementary school students. I then landed a long-term substitute position to teach fashion design and marketing to high school students. My job was to create a stimulating environment that is conducive to learning while utilizing hands-on approaches. I also integrated lessons into a long-term curriculum plan to ensure continuity of education objectives.

However, as an introvert, teaching can be quite a challenge. A teacher must be “on” for about eight hours a day while teaching five classrooms of thirty students each. It also entails classroom management and dealing with parents who often don’t trust you–not to mention the school administration. This is all while trying to deliver lessons to students that have senioritis: they’re eager to just get done with it and graduate.

All of this led me to finally come to the conclusion that teaching is not for me, and that a more “introverted” job would be appropriate. At a loss, I went to a vocational rehabilitation psychiatrist to find what my skillsets are. The four-hour long appointment consisted of mental puzzles and IQ tests. It included a psychiatric evaluation, a Myers-Briggs personality test (my result keeps changing), and other problem solving puzzles. It turns out that my strongest skillset is within language and writing. The results showed that my vocabulary is within the 95 percentile, whereas my math abilities are unmentionable. The psychiatrist said that, while I have a Type 2 Bipolar diagnosis and Major Depressive Disorder, I have a good brain and can get any job I apply myself to.

The trouble was that my self-esteem and confidence were so low that the only jobs I felt I was really qualified for were low-wage jobs. I felt that tech, creative work, records keeping, and other “white collar jobs” were way out of my league. PTSD (a later diagnosis) can also severely impact one’s ability to learn and thrive. My fight-or-flight switch was constantly on, and I was always running away in my own head. I was, in essence, trapped in my own mind. With PTSD and the resulting depression, it can be very difficult for outside information to stick, which in turn, makes it hard to move up in the world.

Some Things Take Time

I continued to paint and make fine art. It wasn’t until my mid-20s that a job in the records department of a law firm landed in my lap by luck. This involved a lot of organizing of case files, use of a document management system, and working under competing deadlines for multiple attorney workgroups. It was similar to working in a library without the general public. While I was grateful for the opportunity and the amazing team I had, it was also obvious that I was meant for something more creative and language-oriented. It took a long time and a lot of therapy before I felt comfortable enough to take a big risk to start this blog and document an epic worldwide adventure. It was then, for the first time, that I began to really see my self-worth–especially in the career aspect.

On Taking A Big Risk for a New Start

I started this lifestyle blog project over a year ago as a way to gain experience in the creative/tech industry. It was an experiment to see where my skillsets further lie. While I have a knack for writing and documenting, it turns out that maybe marketing is better left to someone else. Then again, it’s a skill that can be learned, like most things in life. I also learned to use a more complex content management system and an SEO style guide. Even after my extensive traveling ended, I still updated from time to time. It turns out that this blog has led me to an amazing opportunity, where writing and travel experience are preferred.

For the last six months, I had been in between jobs. I applied to positions and often faced many rejection letters due to lack of experience. Then, back in April, I applied for a remote job for a company based out in the Czech Republic. They sent me study material for a series of intense writing tests–some of which left me in tears. It was reminiscent of finals week in university. For the third round I submitted my answers, a bit uncertain, but knowing I did my best.

The editors who reviewed my work offered yet another round, because they saw potential. Gracious for this extra opportunity, I took my time and completed it, triple checking my words and structure. I felt really good about it. I also told myself to not feel bad if I didn’t get the job. What mattered was that I did my very best.

The editors were happy to inform me that I am now a freelance content producer for Moravia. This is a start for the tech/creative industry. This new position involves creating factual, objective content in English, while ensuring accuracy and consistency of style, structure, and voice according to the client-specific guidelines. Familiarity with content management systems is an additional requirement for this job.

The risk I took with traveling and starting this Coming Full Spiral project is now starting to pay off! There were valid insecurities of it not working out. My plans had derailed for a bit, but with luck and a bit of patience, now things are slowly but surely turning around.

And Now…

I’m not sure what career advice to give to anyone. I had never been the career-oriented type until recently. (Cover letters and resume formats, what?!) I guess that’s what happens when you hit your 30s. Suddenly, life hits you like a bag of oranges. In your 20s, you might fly through it, feeling like you have all the time in the world. (For me, I had to heal from that manic-depressive decade before I could move on.) But once you hit 30, you see how finite life really is. There’s nothing like a sense of your own mortality that makes you get your act together.

For now, I will be gaining experience in this new job to further my career in writing and content production. This feels like what I’ve been meant to do all along. It really is coming back around like a spiral. I cannot wait.