New Year’s Day is probably one of my favorite holidays. Nothing feels more optimistic than a fresh start, especially when a challenging year is now behind you.

Some of you make New Year’s Resolutions. I used to do that and even kept about two-thirds of them. After going through a tumultuous time last year, I still need a little time for those lessons to sink in.

Many of my goals happen to spring up in the middle of the year, when I least expect it. Sometimes, they appear at the end. Lately, I’ve been in a good headspace to make new plans at the beginning.

Here are some plans and goals so far:

1. Visiting Santa Fe next week. A good friend lives there with her husband and her two little girls. It will be the first time seeing her in seven years, when she moved. Santa Fe is said to be artsy, sunny, and friendly. More on that when I visit.
2. Sugar is getting the boot for the most part. Excessive sugar is what I mean, such as desserts. Carbs are still important for those cardio workouts, so those need to stay. I will make exceptions, such as my birthday, others’ birthdays, and holidays. It sounds like a realistic goal versus cutting all sugar out. I cut out excessive sugar once last year, and it was almost like combatting a drug addiction. I’ve never had a drug problem, but I imagine that’s what it might feel like. My sugar consumption has been declining the past year anyway, so it doesn’t feel as bad this time.
3. Lowering my caffeine intake. This one is about as hard as decreasing sugar intake, because it’s ubiquitous here. When you order decaf coffee in Seattle, people look at you like you just asked for the ultimate sin. Black and green teas are much milder and less abrasive than black coffee. Plus, anxiety can be much more easier to manage with the switch. I practically slept for three days when lowering my intake, though. At least my mind isn’t leaving my body when I’m anxious.
4. Reaching out to friends and family more. I am an introvert through and through, like a cat. My space and time are very important to me. Last year, I fell off the face of the planet. There was hardly any energy to see anyone. I also became depressed from the isolation. At the same time, I didn’t want to burden anyone with what I was going through. Now that I’m in a better spot in life, I have more energy to give to others. I also don’t want to be so wrapped up in my own head. When you’re stuck in your own world, especially when you’re going through adverse times, you might pick up a salty attitude. I really don’t want that. My goal is to give more, and to practice more patience and gratitude.
5. Surrounding myself with people who deserve it. Boundaries are so important. The early 30s are great. You care less about what others think and more about what is best for you. My thoughts have shifted from “who likes me?” to “who deserves me?”. Giving my time and energy to others who don’t appreciate it is a drain. I will continue practicing making boundaries and enforcing them. Instead, it’s better to spend time with those who do want to hang out and actually make efforts to do so. I’m in my 30s and am just now figuring this out.
6. Making more art. I haven’t made much art in the past two years, as my focus shifted from fine art, to writing and traveling. In the spring, I’ve been invited to participate in an art show with two other artists! Here is some of my work. I’m going to make an entirely new series with brand new pieces. My style will also go in a different direction for this series. I. Cannot. Wait.
7. Seeing my best friend’s family this year. My best friend, Brad, and I have made plans for me to meet his family in Santa Barbara this yea. We’re also going to Disneyland with them! He’s literally the closest thing I’ve ever had as a brother. I’ve been wanting to meet his family for a long time now, and we’re finally going to make it happen!
8. Be more organized and efficient. I love organizing. I used to work in the records department of a law firm for five years, so organizing and labeling things is second nature. Lately, however, things fell by the wayside. I won’t repeat how last year was a doozy. But now, I have a better grip. I want to be more on top of things. As for efficiency, I’ve been meditating more as to keep my thoughts together. My mind can be so spread out, with thoughts going every-which-way. I want to be more effective and efficient.
9. Delving into my new career more. Sometime last year, I mentioned how I went to a vocational psychiatrist and had an assessment taken on my skills and abilities. It turns out that writing is my strongest skill, except I didn’t take that advice until nearly 10 years later. Now that I’m in my new career, I will continue to go down that path. Seattle seems to have many opportunities with that field.
10. Above all, be more forgiving towards myself. I can be very hard on myself. Growing up, girls are often conditioned to dislike themselves and to see themselves through the eyes of criticism. Where I’m from, it’s more socially acceptable for a woman to hate herself than to love herself fully. However, if those things are learned, then they can also be unlearned. It takes a lot of mindfulness to learn new and healthier habits. I want to be more forgiving towards myself and to fully own my power. And I can feel it, little by little. When you give yourself more credit and love, things fall into place easier. Things don’t work against you so hard, because you’re not working against yourself. Most importantly, it feels peaceful, knowing you can trust yourself. I feel pretty good about it.

Maybe I’ll even run a fourth marathon, if my knees can handle it. My mind has been a little clearer. I feel more like myself. Maybe last year’s challenges and rewards were necessary. It feels like an old emotional skin has been shed to reveal a shiny new layer underneath. I got this.