Today is the one year anniversary of sobriety with my best friend.

I’ve quit alcohol once before for 18 months back in 2010-11. After a series of stressful events, I figured that one drink wouldn’t hurt to ease my nerves.

I drank alcohol partially because it calmed my anxious nerves. Usually I wear a mask of calm hiding the sea of anxiety beneath, particularly around other people. The first sip was always dangerously seductive, the magical elixir rushing through my bloodstream like liquid gold. That one sip would flow through, a warm sensation that melted away any anxieties. After a while, one drink would turn into two. I had already crossed that line, so what’s to stop me from doing it again? Then two drinks would turn into three, and…well, you get the idea.

I won’t go into how alcohol ruined my life, because it never really went that far. I don’t even feel comfortable to say that I was an alcoholic, as there are plenty of people who have it worse than I did. I can say, however, that my relationship to alcohol was problematic anyway. I never kept it in the house because it would be finished much faster than what is considered moderate consumption. In some cases, I would not even remember what happened the night prior. I may not have consumed it every day, but when I did, there was no way I could stop at just one drink.

Alcohol felt like a temporary bandage to my depression, spinning a shimmering light into my small world. It made me feel alive and sociable, charming and unstoppable. It also kept me from ever taking the steps from getting out of my depression without it. While it did a great job of lowering my inhibitions, alcohol is still a depressant. It has also landed me in more dangerous or embarrassing situations that I could keep track of.

I had reached a breaking point when my best friend saved me from a situation. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t touch alcohol again for two weeks. Not even a week passed when the temptation struck at my roommate’s birthday party the following Wednesday. I couldn’t even keep my own promise to sobriety, and usually I’m pretty good at keeping the promises I make.

When I told my best friend about what happened, it dawned on me that I should quit alcohol again for good. He agreed that it’s a good idea. This guy is like a brother to me. When I told him I couldn’t do it alone, he said, “then I’ll quit with you.”

Since then, I’ve been able to better manage my anxiety and depression…and then there were the first signs of the lifelong PTSD lifting a few months after making the decision to be sober. Sobriety has saved me a ton of money (hello world traveling!), and it has made me more mindful of emotional regulation, instead of relying on booze as a temporary band-aid. I still have temptations here and there, but with my “brother” going this far with me, there’s just no way I could ever do that to him. He would say that my sobriety is for me, not for him, but you see…giving up that vice again was actually scary. It helps to have someone to walk through that darkness with. And now I don’t even miss alcohol.

There are ways to continue having fun without imbibing. For starters, having a sparkling water (I’m addicted to La Croix) has kept me off the booze. At bars, my go-to is a sparkling water with grenadine with a cherry on top. Fortunately, many bars have a menu for “mocktails.”

I was worried if giving up alcohol also meant giving up a vibrant social life if I chose to go out. But your real friends are those who support your decision to be healthier and happier. Your real friends want to see you flourish, and they will do what they can to help you. Your real friends won’t make fun of you or leave you when you want to better yourself. As Dr. Seuss said, “those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

One year down… I can do this for the rest of my life.