Yesterday was the Seattle Marathon, where you have to be a little crazy to get up at 5:00 AM to run 26.2 miles, or if you opted for a half marathon like I did, 13.1 miles.

Running a half marathon is actually not all that bad. I think most people can do it. Running a full marathon does require more effort and commitment. (I have run two races.) There is something about running past 20 miles that makes you retreat to the darkest corners of your mind.

I signed up for the Seattle Half Marathon on a whim two weeks ago, so I didn’t formally train for the race. My long runs were almost at half marathon distance anyway. Running is one of the things that keep me sane, especially in the winter months. My mental health is directly linked to how much exercise I get. It drives me insane if I don’t run.

A long run for no particular reason can extend to 8 or 9 miles these days. If I’m feeling particularly good, I can go up to 12 miles. Where running was once used to escape my own anxiety, it is now used to be more in tune with my body.

Although I have been running since age 13, I’m not exactly what you call athletic, nor am I very fast. What I lack in speed, I make up for in distance covered. And the distances I run help clear my head, which is something I’ve grown to enjoy. When I first started running, I never dreamed of actually being able to finish a marathon. It sounded like something that only the elite do–not a shy creative type like me. But I learned that you don’t have to be the fastest; you just need to keep pushing to finish what you have worked hard for. For me, running has been something as an escape from my own anxieties by silencing them with endorphins, the sweet reassuring opiate high that everything is right in the world.

It wasn’t until I entered college that I took running more seriously. To be honest, I did not like it then. I only did it back then to purposefully keep myself thin because of low self-esteem, but I never regretted a workout because of the satisfaction it gave afterwards. So, I kept at it and forced myself to run at least 4 times a week. (4 is my favorite number.) The satisfaction of having made the goal for the day was what kept reinforcing the habit of putting my shoes on and getting out there. And I was starting to like what I was seeing and feeling. So, three years later, I joined a training team to complete my first full marathon.

For those of you who have always thought of doing one of those 26.2 milers, you should! I strongly recommend joining a training team. The moral support you give and receive will help you cross the finish line. Then you’re in the 26.2 club for life.

After crossing the finish line of my first marathon, I thought, “oh, thank god that’s over. I am never doing that again.” It wasn’t until 8 years later in 2016 that I ran my second marathon, all because a friend of mine convinced me to attempt to overcome my own resistance. That time, I trained on my own, using the training program that seemed the most familiar from the first race.

I was going to run my third full marathon this time around, but spending money for the race fee just was not justifiable after coming back from traveling. By the time my old job re-hired me, it was too late to train, and I didn’t want to do a half-marathon originally, but… It’s better than nothing. So, I signed up.

I wish I could recall how difficult the course was. My mind was so zen, that much of it has evaded my conscious memory. Or maybe I was tired from having only 4 hours of sleep the night before. I have overheard other runners talking about the difficulty of hills and the steep switchbacks the course had. Those I vaguely remember. It didn’t feel too difficult, to be honest. Running the course felt wonderful and free.

And now there is time until the next marathon. The two main ones in this city are Rock ‘n’ Roll Marathon and Amica’s Seattle Marathon. Running a marathon is not just a physical endeavor; it’s also a psychological one. I always become hesitant before signing up for a big race. But pushing through the heavy resistance as your mind retreats to the darkest corners of your psyche is how you grow. It can be very hard, yes. But I promise you that you reach an interesting place when you emerge to the other side.