Coming Full Spiral

Vietnam, Part 1: Tearing through Saigon

I landed in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, a.k.a. Saigon, from Cape Town on Monday.

Saigon is a fast city, what with its whirlwind traffic, swarms of crowds, and manic carnival nightlife. It’s fun, cheap, and easy to zip though the city, because chances are that the currency exchange rates are in your favor.

It’s a city with an enormous history, and while weaving through it is fun, it’s especially worth visiting the museums, especially the War Remnants museum.

In the history classes in the U.S., we don’t really get an account of the other side’s perspective in wars. The War Remnants museum was educational, harrowing and heartbreaking, and we see the Vietnamese perspective of the war.

The War Crimes exhibit displayed graphic photographs of torture and actual artifacts and weapons, while another exhibit showed the devastating effects of dioxin, the most toxic component of Agent Orange. Using the word “depressing” isn’t enough; it is truly bewildering, the amount of cruelty people can be capable of.

The Ho Chi Minh City Fine Arts museum was close by, so I walked over there afterwards. The Vietnamese artists specialize in lacquer paintings on wood.

Right outside the museum is a small cluster of galleries. Lacquer fumes wafted out from one of them. It reminded me of my spray painting days in college.

Saigon has such chaotic energy. I mentioned the traffic earlier. The guide books made it sound like there was a high chance of being squashed by a car or motorbike, but if you walk a little slowly and deliberately, the traffic weaves around you like schools of fish. Just be aware, use common sense, and all is well. So far, I haven’t seen an accident, but there have been some close calls.

That being said, running in the city proved to be difficult. It’s hard to get miles in without interruption, as it entails dodging motorbikes, navigating sidewalks that end abruptly into traffic, and passing through crowds.

Vegan food is so easy to find. It’s everywhere and so cheap. I’ve been eating fresh fruit, veggies, rice, and tofu everyday. Vietnam is spoiling me so far with clean eating.

I’ve learned to negotiate prices, which has been a confidence-building exercise. You can do that if there’s no fixed price, but some vendors won’t negotiate. As a person with social anxiety, it felt awkward at first, but it’s actually really easy.

So far, navigating through Saigon has been a little test of confidence-building. I always have to be aware and not hide inside my own head, because there’s so much going on. I haven’t encountered any hostility during my travels yet. This is a fast and friendly city.

A little too fast for me.

So, I booked a two day Mekong Delta tour for a change of pace.

I stayed in a homestay. For dinner, there was rice, vegetables, and meat for our group. The tour guide must have not relayed the message that I’m vegan. The language barrier with the host made it awkward, but there was thankfully wifi there, so I was able to use Google Translate to convey that I don’t consume any animal products. I was lucky this time, because there won’t always be internet at my fingertips. So, I wrote down the Vietnamese word for vegan in my notebook: Thuần chay. It was below the words cảm ơn bạn (thank you), xin vui lòng (please), chào bạn (hello), and other very basic phrases. I think foreigners should at least make an effort to communicate those. It sets them apart from the others.

Tomorrow I leave for Hoi An. This is deviating from the original plan for Hanoi, which I will reach eventually. Fellow travelers in the tour group said that Hoi An is a beauty in itself. So, I booked a train ticket for Danang and will take the bus to the city from there. I’m departing a day early. I think I’ve had enough of Saigon. It’s fast and fun, but maybe not my cup of tea. It’s not to say it was a bad time–I’ve had a great time! When things are that fast, it not exactly a case of my anxiety acting up, but rather it’s overwhelming to be immersed in that much fast-paced chaos. Then again, I get bored when things are too slow.

So long, Saigon. I might come back, and it would be with a friend who can appreciate the energy of the city better.

Cape Town: Last Day

It is my last day in Cape Town, thus ending the first leg of my world tour.

After AfrikaBurn, a group of friends and I set out for the Garden Route. Unfortunately, I had to sit out for most of the activities because of the norovirus, the stomach bug that many people caught during the festival. It didn’t hit me until after the Burn. Good times!

The two weeks spent here has already showed how differently people go about their ways. For instance, South Africa has a water restriction enforced, and it makes one more conscious and mindful of water consumption. When driving, we noticed how other drivers are more cooperative. There’s less ego-driven behavior on the road. We saw more drivers sharing the road as intended, instead of controlling it. During the Garden Route journey, one of the friends in our group left her phone at the AirBNB we checked out from. The owner actually went out of her way to chase us down just to give it back! Maybe the last example is more out of the ordinary, but so far the whole experience been astonishing.

This morning I went running for an hour and met these two very sweet Muslim women who were handing out roses for anyone.

They are part of an organization called Who is Hussain, which is one that strives to create positive change in society by giving back to their communities. I was hesitant to tell them where I’m from, thanks to our current administration. But they didn’t judge me or really give any reaction other than smiles and warm welcomes to Cape Town.

Muslims are so misunderstood; people find it easy to fear what they don’t understand, especially in our current events. But how many have actually taken the time to get to know one and have an actual conversation?

My next stop is Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, thus starting the second leg of my world tour. It’s also the longest part, stretching seven weeks. Southeast Asia is where I will actually be on my own. Everything is left open with that itinerary. I really don’t know what to expect. I’m looking forward to it, but the one thought that keeps returning is, “what could possibly go wrong?”

AfrikaBurn 2017

From April 24th through the 30th, we were immersed in the surreal world of AfrikaBurn, a Burning Man regional event held at the Tankwa Karoo National Park.

I am what you would call a Burner: someone who attends Burning Man. I also have an official diagnosis for PTSD, Avoidant Personality Disorder, and Social Anxiety Disorder. Social Anxiety Disorder is an anxiety disorder in which an individual is fearful of interaction with others. This goes beyond shyness. From Wikipedia:

Social anxiety disorder (SAD), also known as social phobia, is an anxiety disorder characterized by a significant amount of fear in one or more social situations, causing considerable distress and impaired ability to function in at least some parts of daily life. These fears can be triggered by perceived or actual scrutiny from others.

This psychological wall has been built over many, many years from trauma in order to keep everyone out. Introversion is a natural tendency of mine, and so isolation has often been comforting. Ronnieland is a safe place to be; nobody can hurt me there. But the isolation and avoidance has given a false sense of safety. It’s one thing to want to avoid something that hurts; but when it affects virtually every aspect of your life, that is not normal. The good news is that it can be reversed through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and medication.

And then there are events like Burning Man.

I’ve been to Burning Man in the USA four times: 2011, 2013, 2014, and 2015. Every time I’ve been, there has always been a wide range of workshops and lectures to attend for personal and interpersonal development. Everyone has their own reasons why they attend a Burning Man event: whether it’s to let loose their inner sparkle pony and indulge in raucous debauchery, to get in better touch with their creativity, to make more friends, and/or to delve into a stronger connection with their spiritual self. Whatever the reasons are, there are the 10 Principles to live by in order to keep the community strong. They are as follows:

Radical Inclusion
Gifting
Decommodification
Radical Self-Reliance
Radical Self-Expression
Communal Effort
Civic Responsibility
Leaving No Trace
Participation
Immediacy

AfrikaBurn has an 11th Principle: “Each one teach one.”

Burning Man and its regional events can be a challenging place for someone with social anxiety. There is always so much going on, with people everywhere. It can be overwhelming. The good news is that everyone is friendly and welcoming. It is a community where weirdos are welcome, as long as you abide by the 10 Principles.

For AfrikaBurn, I had made a few necklace pouches, each containing a vial of dust straight from the source known as Black Rock Desert, where Burning Man is held. The rule was to give them out to those who really want to go to Burning Man, but have never been. One of them was given to one of my camp mates, which was easy. The other four that were left meant that it was time to strike up conversation with someone.

It’s interesting, because we all have to do that on a daily basis. For someone with social anxiety, conventional wisdom would say that it gets easier as they interact more with others. Except, what if it doesn’t? What if they continuously experience distress from interaction?

I don’t know what works for others. What I do know for myself is that combatting social anxiety is not just a mental process. It involves settling the mind back into the body, where it belongs. A lot of times, social interactions can cause the mind to “check out” when things feel overwhelming. What I’ve been doing was meditating to guide my own agitated mind gently back into a warm calm state and have it stay there.

One night I was out with my friends, and there was a vision of two entwining spirals–the split selves of me–coiling into each other and melting into my core. It was the adult me holding the little girl inside; I held her close and whispered, “you don’t have to be sorry for anything.”

Meaning, you don’t have to be sorry for existing. You don’t have to be sorry for feeling, for thinking, for having needs. You don’t have to be sorry for being human.

One of my friends asked if I was alright. And I told her what was going on. Another one of my friends said, “of course you don’t have to be sorry. Why would you have to be sorry for stuff like that?”

It also helped to keep in mind that everyone loves receiving gifts, no matter how small. So, when I gave away my jewelry pieces to strangers, it was so rewarding to see their faces light up with joy.

The last one I had was a brooch pin with a glass vial of dust. A friendly person smiled at me while we danced, and something as simple as a little smile was so profound to me. Usually I would avert my eyes and avoid the person, because my traumatized mind would flash a warning light. This time, I chose to take a few deep breaths, and stay present. I observed the person, and while I’m wary around people, there was absolutely nothing scary about him.

All he asked was if I was having a good time and how going to Burning Man is high on his bucket list of things to do. I knew that this was the person who needed to have the brooch, so I pinned it on him. His eyes widened in surprise and he asked, “are you sure?” I smiled and told him to enjoy it.

He then reached into his bag and pulled out a necklace with an inner circle of a five Rand coin. He was wearing the outer circle of the coin around his neck. And then he took a photo of me.

I was absolutely not expecting that, but that can be the beauty of Burning Man events. When we gift something, there is no expectation of getting something in return. It’s not a bartering system like the default world believes. We gift out of kindness, because we want to. I thanked him and walked to my camp to rest up.

I was thinking why something so simple as that interaction can be so difficult with others. Despite my introverted tendencies, I crave human contact like everyone else. It can be hard with that wall separating me and the rest of the world. It’s difficult to open up, as I don’t always feel safe expressing my feelings.

Here I was sitting at my camp at 4 AM. I tried to stop it, but the tears gushed forth despite my best efforts to “stay strong,” whatever that means anymore. At this point, it was best to let it pass through. This was an emotional block and it needed to get out.

My friends checked to see what was going on, and it was so awkward. I don’t think I’m alone here, but it’s uncomfortable crying in front of people even if they are close to me. This is a common result from growing up in an environment where it wasn’t safe to express emotions. So when they came to check on me, I had to fight every urge to apologize for being this way, because this is being human.

Turning off social anxiety is not like a switch. It’s quite tiring, but what was important is that my friends held space. Nobody was judging, and they certainly didn’t make me feel bad for anything. They made me feel safe and cared for. Those are the kinds of people you want in your life. It sounds like a no-brainer, but trust me when I say this is real.

I sat there breathing and gathering my wits together before heading back out to see the Tree of Life temple burn at 5 A.M.

For the rest of the time there, it wasn’t always profound. Every moment wasn’t a revelation or an a-ha realization about connection. Usually I don’t have sudden epiphanies. Usually these realizations slowly build on top of one another piece by piece as the steely ice wall of Ronnieland slowly chips away. That’s usually how learning comes by anyway. It often takes a few tries of anything to sink in. It’s events like AfrikaBurn and Burning Man that can really test someone’s limits, especially one with social anxiety.

It’s up to the one experiencing all of this to decide what to take from it and where to go from there. Some people live by the mantra, “what happens at AfrikaBurn stays at AfrikaBurn,” but so many others choose to take those 11 Principles and live their lives and serve their communities through those.

As for me, I’ve been a Burner since 2011, and building self-confidence through this community is still a learning process. It doesn’t stop. It shouldn’t stop. And I don’t think I’m alone here. We do the best we can with what we have. Because in the end, connections are all we have. We are all in this together.

Cape Town Thus Far

I landed on April 21st and hit the ground running.

So far, I met up with my group of travelers. We mostly went out to eat and did a city tour yesterday.

So far, I really like this city. It’s such a colorful place to be, so vibrant in culture. South Africa has had its own share of turbulent history, which might explain the pleasantness of interactions with the locals. They have lived through the effects of Apartheid, and now they’re living in brighter times in a general sense. It doesn’t mean everything is all sunshine and roses now. The socioeconomic divide between blacks and whites is still obvious even after Apartheid.

The architecture of this town is of Dutch, French, German, Victorian, and neoclassical influences. Stroll down Long Street and you’ll find many buildings that look like the French Quarter of New Orleans. There are also Art Nouveau influences, which is personally my favorite.

Running is how I get to know a new city. Here in Cape Town, the direction of traffic goes on the left much like the U.K., the steering wheels on the right hand side of vehicles. This means that I have to be extra alert since I’m not used to the orientation of the traffic. So, no headphones for me while running.

Cape Town also has a thriving vegan community. I had pizza at The Hungry Herbivore. I also took home a slice of raw chocolate cheesecake. It was so good, and I let the kind folks there know how delicious it all was. It truly hit the spot.

I proceeded to walk through the Company’s Gardens yesterday. There are these enormous handmade wicker baskets you can sit and chill out in. Looks like I found a new meditation spot.
There are also lots of grey squirrels scampering about. Watching tourists take photos of them was amusing, to say the least. Or maybe it’s because we also have grey squirrels in the U.S., so I barely noticed them.

And finally, here is what I came to South Africa for: AfrikaBurn. I made these little necklace pouches. Each contains a small glass vial of dust collected from the Black Rock Desert where Burning Man is held every year in the US.

I have a couple more, though they’re not as elaborate as the ones shown. Every day I will wear one and give it to someone. It’s a gift straight from the source.

I’ve been to Burning Man four times already and understand the culture very well. This will be my first AfrikaBurn. As always, it’s best to not have expectations, because every Burn will be different. Take what you will out of it and learn from it. I promise you, having expectations can dampen the experience when they’re not met. (The same could be said about many things in life, really.) The best thing to do is to keep your mind open, stay prepared, and welcome the immediacy.

We won’t have any reception or signal, so this is the last update until we come back. Then I will need to gather my thoughts before sharing them with you. Cheers.

Backpacking the World with Osprey

Blogger’s note: This post is not sponsored by Osprey. After doing research on what kind of backpack is best for travel, I settled on the Osprey Sirrus based on my needs.

First stop: Cape Town, South Africa. I’m actually waiting at the airport terminal as I write this. I’m bracing myself for the 35-hour journey to Cape Town, South Africa. It will take three planes to get there. First, we go to LA and board a plane to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, and finally Cape Town. The flight from LA to Addis Ababa is the longest stretch, clocking in at nearly 20 hours. Never have I been so excited to take a Benedryl to knock myself out during this one.

And! Let me show you this sweet new Osprey backpack I bought just a few days ago.

I had a unisex backpack from High Sierra that came with me for the Iceland trip. While it looks cool, it was difficult carrying it around, as I was expending a lot of energy trying to keep my back upright. This eventually resulted in back soreness. I’m in pretty good shape and can go for long distances, but this backpack was making me feel winded after walking up and downhills for a mile. It was concerning, because how was I supposed to travel the rest of the world if it made me feel this tired?

I kept hearing how comfortable and easy to carry Osprey backpacks are. The frugal nature of my lifestyle had held me back from actually purchasing one. After deliberating of whether or not it’s worth splurging extra money for a new backpack that eases back pain, I decided to just go for it. It is, after all, a three month worldwide trip. Back pain should be the least of my worries. Besides, there will be lots of walking around; l really don’t want to be regretting my decision for not buying a quality bag just to save a few bucks. It’s not worth it to me.

The Osprey backpack was purchased through Amazon. I found it funny how the bright purple one was $50 cheaper than the dark purple or black one. This might be because that color is less in demand. I like all three of those colors, so it was easy to pick the cheaper one.

When it comes to picking a wardrobe for three months, I chose 11 pieces to mix and match. I stuck to mostly greys and blacks, with some blues thrown in there for good measure.

The tops include one dress, one breathable button down shirt (Ex Officio), one moisture-wicking long sleeve shirt (Oakley), one moisture-wicking tank top (Oakley), and one sleeveless cardigan.

The bottoms include a pair of shorts, convertible pants (The North Face), a pair of stretchy hiking pants (Prana), a long skirt, and two pairs of leggings.

I do my best to be as practical as possible. Most of the bottoms and the dress have secret pockets sewn into them. That’s where I will keep my passport and payment cards. Those should be kept on a traveler’s person at all times, as bag snatching and pick pocketing are common in SE Asia.

I also have clothes for exercise. Also, I do have a separate bag for costumes for AfrikaBurn that’s happening outside of Cape Town, and those will be donated after the Burn.

And then there are the other essential items, like toiletries, small electronic devices, vegan snacks, drawing supplies, a couple books (I never got a Kindle), first aid kit, sewing kit, and including but not limited to a three-month supply of all my medications. I just hope none of the border patrols make a big stink about them. Thankfully, I do have a big folder containing all of my travel documents, including my medical reports listing those medications.

My nerves were having a bit of an anxiety storm yesterday, but it was just that: a storm. It eventually passed. Probably these feelings of worry are normal. I’m doing okay now. It feels like I have everything with me and that I did enough preparation for this big adventure. The next time I update will be in Cape Town. Stay tuned as I take off into the world!

Travel

Travel Identity

There are certain kind of safety measures I prefer to take, even though it’s generally safe in many parts of the world. One step I took was dying my hair jet black in order to keep a low profile and make myself less of a target. I was advised to do this, especially because the police force in Indonesia can be corrupt and might cause hiccups in my travel plans. I’m not exactly sure what to expect when traveling but I figured it’s better to try and blend in as much as I can. Besides, the maintenance for fun colored hair would have been inconvenient.

I chose black because it’s so permanent. If I went any lighter, the pink would have eventually shown through. It’s close enough to my natural hair color anyway, which is a very dark brown.

Another thing that was highly advised was to get fake wedding rings to decrease the chances of unwanted male attention. These are sterling silver rings with cubic zirconia. They look convincing enough.

So, if a man tries coming onto me, I could go, “go away, I’m married.” Unfortunately, a lot of men just won’t take no for an answer, so I have to have a backstory ready. A friend said that I should say something like, “My husband is in the military. He takes people out who are a problem. We’re so glad you’re not being a problem.”

I’ll probably just say that he’s fishing and I don’t like fishing.

I may go by a fake name and already have one picked out. It might even be a good idea to say I’m Canadian instead of American, because the rest of the world isn’t happy with our current administration right now. I’m not sure if I’ll go that far, but it gives a sense of anonymity. It just might be a little awkward when I make new friends.

Anyway, I still have yet to sew secret pockets to my clothes, because it’s a good idea to always keep the passport, payment cards, and IDs on oneself at all times–not in a bag that somebody can grab. A dummy wallet with a couple cancelled cards is also useful. That actually can go in the bag.

I am aware that I’m a tall woman, so there might be a few stares. Friends and family assure me that I’ll be fine as long as I stay aware and present. I sure hope so, because I never got around to doing self-defense courses. My bitchy-resting-face is on point, though.

Vegan Cupcakes

It was my last day at work on Friday. It felt so surreal. Time to plant new seeds now. I brought in vegan cupcakes for my coworkers, who were delighted to eat them.

I had a little send off last night. Everyone’s warm wishes, assurances, and company were much appreciated. I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety about traveling for this long, because I’ve never done anything this crazy before. So, it was really nice to see my friends and have them tell me everything is going to be okay. There were lots of hugs all around… And there were vegan pizzas, snacks, and the vegan cupcakes everyone loves.

It’s a recipe that has been kept secret for ten years and I’m finally ready to share it. The cupcakes themselves have nine ingredients, so they’re simple to make. If you don’t have coconut oil, canola oil can do just fine. Water can also be substituted for soy milk. But I promise you, the coconut oil and soy milk make the cupcakes exquisite.

You Will Need:

1 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour
3/4 cup of organic sugar
1 tsp. of baking powder
1/4 tsp. of baking soda
1/4 tsp. of sea salt
1 cup of soy milk
1/4 cup of coconut oil
1 tsp. of vanilla extract
1 Tbsp. of white vinegar

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Put cupcake liners in the muffin tin.

Sift together all the dry ingredients into a bowl and stir together. Then poke a well into the dry mixture with your finger. In a separate bowl, mix together the wet ingredients. Pour the wet ingredients right into the center of the well of the dry mixture. Stir until incorporated fully, but don’t overdo it. (We want the batter to be a little lumpy. If it’s stirred too much, then it loses its texture. Then it won’t rise as well.)

Spoon the batter into the cupcake liners until about two-thirds full. Put the pan into the oven and bake for 22 minutes. Stick a toothpick in the center to ensure they’re fully baked. If some batter clings onto the toothpick, bake for two more minutes.

When they’re done, take the cupcakes out and let them cool for at least half an hour. After they’re cool, it’s time to add the frosting.

Some store-bought frosting, such as Duncan Hines brand, are accidentally vegan. I used the creamy home-style vanilla flavor here, but if you want to make your own, it’s quite simple. There are plenty of recipes around. Here is what I use sometimes:

Vegan Frosting:

2 cups of organic powder sugar
2 Tbsp. of Earth Balance (vegan butter)
2 Tbsp. of soy milk
1 tsp. of vanilla extract

Cream together the Earth Balance, soy milk, and vanilla extract with a hand mixer. Gradually add the powder sugar until a smooth consistency forms and all the lumps are gone. Slather the frosting onto the cooled cupcakes.

And voila! There you have it. I hope you love making these as much as I do! Do leave a comment and tell me what you think. Enjoy!

Fashion

What a 30-Year-Old Likes Wearing

Vest: The North Face

Headphones: Beats by Dre

Hair: Arctic Fox hair color

This is how I usually dress, though I’ve been cleaning up my style some lately. What used to be more on the grungy-goth side of fashion has shifted to a style that’s more sleek and sophisticated. These travel plans have forced me to invest in higher quality clothes while significantly downsizing my wardrobe. These days, I’m aiming to look neater while my threads stand the test of adventure. Also, a little voice in my head said, “you’re 30! Dress your age!”

I’m a firm believer that women should wear what they’re comfortable in, regardless of age. There are so many articles of what to wear at age 30, and really, it all comes down to personal choice. However, I’ve already lived through the goth phase of torn black clothes… if you call 17 years a phase. 😛 I can still maintain my dark style while aiming for a cleaner appearance. It happens to a lot of us; change like this is welcome.

And… You want to know a little secret of mine? The stuff I have on might be pricey as the brand, but with godsends like Groupon and the thrift store, I managed to find things for really cheap or significantly discounted. That North Face vest: whoever was in charge for pricing items at the thrift store probably had no idea what they were selling. I was like, “$10 Northface vest? Don’t mind if I do.”

Groupon had sold the headphones as refurbished and honestly, I love them and use them every single day. They are quite sturdy and the sound quality is wonderful. I used to use cheap headphones that sounded okay, but they’d break every few months. I figured it’s time to invest in a real pair that will last a while, because it saves money in the long run. I wanted the blue pair, but the pink pair was $15 cheaper. They do the same thing…but…it’s a $15 price difference. It wasn’t worth picking the blue ones, in my opinion.

To get this hair color, I use Arctic Fox hair color on bleached hair. I highly recommend using latex gloves because it stains heavily. I mixed one part Purple Rain, one part Poison, and one part Wrath. The mixture results in a beautiful crimson that gradually fades to fuchsia like shown here. It will eventually fade to magenta and then bright pink. The hair dye also smells like grape candy and bubblegum, so the process of coloring hair is a pleasant experience!

My 2017 World Tour

Right now my life is going through a serious overhaul. Like everyone else, I have also been going through significant changes. A friend once said that people generally go through big changes every 5-7 years. For a while now, my life has been stagnated, so it’s time to shake things up a little.

In less than two weeks, I will be embarking on a big adventure, where I will be circumnavigating the world for three months. I just came back from Iceland last week only to depart again very soon.

This involves leaving my job of nearly five years. While I like where I work and have made some priceless friendships at my job, it’s time to move on. I’ve already sold my 2003 Nissan Sentra, the only car I’ve ever owned for the past 14 years.

My journey starts in Cape Town, South Africa, where I will be attending AfrikaBurn, which is a Burning Man regional event. From Cape Town, I will then be exploring Southeast Asia starting in Ho Chi Minh City and ending in Bali, Indonesia. The last leg of my trip will be in New Zealand before going back home to Seattle.

This is a dream that I never thought could be made possible, and the gravity of it all is really weighing in now. I like where this is going, but it’s quite daunting to say the least. I don’t know what to expect. I haven’t felt this terrified in a long time. But there’s a kernel of faith deep down that’s always stayed with me, and it keeps getting stronger.

You know… I’m no stranger to pursuing my wildest dreams. The last time I felt this terrified was when I was 23, and that was a time when my life had hit rock bottom. I dropped everything and drove 3,000 miles to move to Seattle, the city of my dreams since I was 16 years old. Back then, I didn’t have the tools for coping with my emotional health, and while it was a very difficult time, I still made it work as my friends and family cheered me on. Because deep down, despite that I was very out of touch with my own soul, there was still that kernel of faith I held onto, even when on survival mode. The difference is being driven by inspiration rather than desperation: running towards what you live for, rather than running away from what you fear. Now that I’ve done two years of therapy, I’ve gained essential coping skills, including seeing from new perspectives without judgment. Keeping an open mind on healing is so important. So, now that’s with me, I will make this 2017 World Tour work.

There’s no better time to travel. I’m single and don’t have any cats of my own. I don’t own a house or a car, and have given away or sold many of my possessions. I just turned 30 and have a clean slate. This adventure needs to happen before taking on more serious endeavors. I have very little to lose.

The whole world has opened up. We keep going, in spite of fear. Time to enter the next chapter of my life.

Mindfulness

Micro Worlds

One of my favorite things is going outside and smelling the change of seasons. It’s the smell of fresh rain, of green grass, of the blossoms reminding us that spring is really here.

Another thing I love doing is clipping the macro lens on my camera phone and getting up close and personal with nature. The lens gives a glimpse of the micro worlds of nature, where you stop and really look closer. Here we can almost see the tiny grain of pollen on these plum blossoms. The thin pink veins run through the soft petals.

It’s the appreciation of the here and now, the state of being beautifully present. Slow down, take a deep breath. How often do you stop and take in the world?